My New BFF Chip

For the past 3 months I have been sharing a cubicle with a guy named Chip. That's not his real name. His real name is Andrew, or at least I think it is. You see, he moves around every few years, and every time he moves he changes his name. Chip is his favorite so far, "because it is easy for people to remember". I know that I will never forget Chip. We both started working for a winery on the same day, and since we both had a half hour commute Chip suggested that we carpool. Chip didn't seem like the most reliable person I had ever met, but I am a sucker for environmentally friendly transportation, and if that meant carpooling with Chip I was willing to give it a shot. I volunteered to drive the first day and it wasn't so bad, although I quickly realized that politics were off limits when Chip said that he hoped McCain would win the election because his family makes parts for submarines and wars are really profitable for them. But as long as I stayed away from talking about anything real, it was fine. He even invited me to go camping with him and his friends. I thought it was a little weird since I had met him the day before, but now that I know more about him I kick myself every day for not accepting that offer. It's not that I think camping with Chip's friends would have been a lot of fun, but I know I would have come away from that trip with some stories to tell. Anyway, the next morning I was waiting for Chip to pick me up for work. I waited...and waited...and tried calling Chip...and waited. When the time came that I was going to be ten minutes late for work, I decided to just drive myself. Chip showed up to work two hours later and explained that his phone died in the middle of the night so his alarm didn't go off and he didn't get my call that morning. He also asked me to give him a second chance and, since I am a pushover, I agreed. So the next morning Chip called at 6:15 like he said he would. The only problem was that he wasn't there to pick me up. He had misplaced his keys and he was going to keep looking for them for another 5 minutes and then call me back. A couple minutes later he called back and said "yeah, I can't find my keys, and actually...my car". So I had to go pick him up, and he spent the whole commute calling his friends and asking them if his car was at their house. I was already really annoyed, and the one thing that really got to me was that he never called any of his friends by an actual name. They all had ridiculous nicknames like Butters and Big O, or if he was calling a girl he would just say "hey baby". Needless to say, carpooling with Chip didn't work out. The only thing Chip was good for was a good story. Every afternoon, one of our other coworkers or I would say "tell us a story Chip", and Chip could always deliver. Or you could just ask him what him and his frat brothers were going to be up to that night. One night, Chip and his roommates had a party and at some point during the party someone stole Chip's bed. Seems impossible right? Not for Chip. One day Chip came to work with all of the skin on his left arm torn off, and he explained that he was trying to skate board down the side of a mountain to impress a girl when he fell and since he was only wearing his "new overalls" his arms got all scraped up. I could probably tell you a million stories about this guy, but I think I will just let you look at his business card. Enjoy!