No Robert, I Really Don't Wanna

I went to a couple of local beaches with a friend this weekend to take some pictures of the ocean and wildlife. We were mostly looking to take pictures like this one:

But then we ran into this:

We really couldn't resist taking a picture of it. It was pretty risky, since Robert was probably either sleeping in his truck or standing right behind us. Anyway, I just thought I would help him out by getting his number out there. I can't imagine that his phone is ringing off the hook with all the business he gets from the Avila pier. Go ahead and give him a call. I'm sure he is a really great guy. And if you think you have the stomach for it, try googling Robert's phone number; but be warned, it could haunt you for the rest of your life.

I guess this guy is really more funny than annoying, but he is giving Robs everywhere a bad name and this Rob really doesn't appreciate it.

Vacation's Over

Jack found himself a new apartment over the past week. One that promises to be free from ceiling leaks and idiot management company receptionists. One that even comes with a delicious tidbit of Hollywood history attached. I though I may have left the State of Annoyance. For good. But, turns out, it was merely a brief trip and now: I'm back...

I have a degree in English from one of the top West Coast universities. Not only do I speak it fluently, I've been writing in it since I was a kid and based on my own bloated ego and the shared opinions of others, I know I'm not half-bad. You know who is half-bad? YOU. Yeah, you, with all the edits. I know, I know "the client wants..." Does the client want me to use European spellings of words? Or did you just not realize the American spelling is different, because the spelling you want is the title of a popular ladies' magazine. I routinely turn the sub-par material you give me into something that doesn't sound like a man with a cowboy hat is screaming it while pointing to the line of FI50s behind him. And this is the thanks I get? Adding a smiley face to the end doesn't make it better. Unless your definition of "better" is "condescending." I need more coffee.

The One Where Jack's Apt Goes All Poltergeist

After the aforementioned ceiling leak incident (and the fact that after that initial phone call, I have never been contacted again about getting the leak fixed), I decided it would be easier to move than to get my building managers to repair, or even care about repairing, my apartment. I decided this as I was walking back to the apartment from my bus stop and as I opened the gate to get into the back area where my front door is, I noticed a large swath of trash on the ground. My next door neighbor "lost his trash key," so he's just been leaving empty Hungry Man containers outside his door (not even in a bag, just lying on the ground) and the resident possums had been kind enough to spread the mess around. Then, I unlocked my front door, walked in and flipped on the overhead light, which flickered on and then burned out. THEN I gently parted the curtain that has been hanging, without incident, in front of my kitchenette for over a year, and the curtain rod sprang from the wall and rod and curtain fell down, hitting me on the head and wrapping around my neck and shoulders.

Yeah, it's time to move.

The Soda Machine at Work Has Eaten My Money for the Last Time

You hear me soda machine? We're done! Don't even try calling me. That's twice now that I have given you 75 cents and you refused me a Diet Coke. This reminds me of some wise words I once heard: "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me --- you can't get fooled again." - G. dub
So maybe I was fooled again because I'm a sucker, but that's the last time.

The People of the Great State of Annoyance Drink Nothing but Bottled Water

FLOW (For Love of Water) is a really informative documentary about the world water crisis. I just watched it last night and here are some facts that currently have me annoyed:

• Unsafe water and lack of basic sanitation cause 80% of all sickness and disease, and kill more people every year than all forms of violence, including war.
• Many people in the developing world, usually women and children, walk more than three hours every day to fetch water that is likely to make them sick. Those hours are crucial, preventing many from working or attending school. Additionally, collecting water puts them at greater risk of sexual harassment and assault.
• Children are especially vulnerable to the consequences of unsafe water. Of the 42,000 deaths that occur every week from unsafe water and a lack of basic sanitation, 90% are children under 5 years old.
• Of the 6 billion people on earth, 1.1 billion do not have access to safe, clean drinking water.
• The U.S. Environmental Protection Agency currently does not regulate 51 known water contaminants. (www.foodandwaterwatch.org)
• While the average American uses 150 gallons of water per day, those in developing countries cannot find five.(www.charitywater.org)
• According to the National Resources Defense Council, in a scientific study in which more than 1,000 bottles of 103 brands of water were tested, about one-third of the bottles contained synthetic organic chemicals, bacteria, and arsenic. (www.nrdc.org)
• Water is a $400 billion dollar global industry; the third largest behind electricity and oil.
• California's water supply is running out – it has about 20 years of water left in the state.
• There are over 116,000 human-made chemicals that are finding their way into public water supply systems.
• The cost per person per year for having 10 liters of safe drinking water every day is just $2 USD.

And finally, the one that really gets me going:

• The cost to provide clean drinking water to the 1.1 billion who need it is between $10 and $30 billion a year. Global sales of bottled water reached $100 billion in 2005.

I really believe this is going to be the major "what the hell were we thinking" issue of our generation. We're letting major corporations move into our communities and deplete our supply of drinking water, and then we're buying it back from them in non-renewable containers. And we're paying them 3000 times what it would cost to get it out of our faucets.

Check out FLOW when you get a chance. To read more about it go to www.flowthefilm.com. It will be available on DVD December 9th. Buy it, watch it, pass it on.

The State of Disrepair borders the State of Annoyance.

Last rainy season, my ceiling sprung a leak, some guy came out to fix it pretty quickly. Except he didn't really fix it, cause the next time it rained, there was this rust colored stain around where he patched the ceiling. I thought hmm, I wonder if that is actually fixed. And last night at about 12:30am, I got my answer: no!

I was all tucked in bed when I heard water hitting my sound system. I sprang out of bed and tried duct taping the hole, but it kept spreading and finally I just gave up and emailed the repair email address for my building. I was polite, but I also said I was not happy that this wasn't fixed properly when I was told it had been.

So I'm at work this morning and a building management lady calls me saying a roofer is coming at noon, I need to be there to let him in and I was like, uhh I'm at work, I can't leave. And the woman from management said they don't have a key to my apartment. Which is BS because someone had a key when this happened last year. So I said, well the last time this happened, someone was able to get into the apartment to fix it without me needing to be there. And she said well the owner went out there a couple of weeks ago and tried all the keys and not all of them worked, so I guess we'll just hope yours was one that works, or else, I don't know, we'll have to call a locksmith.

What exactly does my rent money go for? And what building owner doesn't have keys to all his units?

It's just been one stupid thing after another with those building managers. Like it was listed on the internet as one price, which was within my budget and that was price I wrote on the credit check form and everything. And then after the credit check goes through and I'm picking a date to sign the lease, the guy handling the lease process was like oh and the price is higher than what it said on the internet that was "an old ad." But by that time, it was almost the end of the month and I needed to get out of my apartment, so I just had to pay the new price. Or like how I was told my heater worked, when it didn't. And when the lease arranging guy told me I had a parking spot and then the mean Russian building manager told me he was going to tow my car if I kept parking in the spot that the lease arranging guy had assigned me. Or when I had to go through a security interview at an airport after my wallet was stolen and the security agent told me the registered renter of my apartment was a dude who I'd never even heard of. And why are there two names on my mailbox. I'm only one person.

Love Always, Jack

PS Building manager lady asked if "they would be able to tell where the leak was." Yeah I think so. It's the spot in the ceiling that's dripping water and has plaster and paint chips hanging from it.

11/24/08

I was pumping gas, minding my own business (I always like to throw that in there in case people forget that I do not go looking for these situations), and I noticed this homeless guy in a wheel chair who had lost both of his legs from the knee down. He rolls over to me and asks for some spare change, and then makes his way back over to the gas station attendant. The attendant seemed a little too chipper for someone who was emptying trash cans at a gas station. She was making small talk with the homeless guy, and when he decided to leave, he said goodbye to her and she said "See you later. And remember, God is great". Everyone at the gas station, including the homeless guy, just stopped and stared at her. Did she really just say "God is great" to a leg/home-less guy? I couldn't believe my ears. I've been in a state of annoyance ever since.